


master of anticipation (don't you keep it all to yourself)

by symphony7inAmajor



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Established Relationship, M/M, Reunion Sex, Riding, Tattoos, doing my duty with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 14:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20931494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphony7inAmajor/pseuds/symphony7inAmajor
Summary: Nikolaj has known that Patrik wants to get a tattoo this summer for a while.(he's still not really ready for it.)





	master of anticipation (don't you keep it all to yourself)

**Author's Note:**

> so today we got our first glimpse of patrik's real tattoo. this man got a full fucking sleeve. we were all losing our minds on jets twitter, that's all i can say. just here doing my job for the people.
> 
> since the only part of his tattoo we could make out was the king of spades, well.
> 
> anyway. this is just so much.
> 
> title from "touch" by little mix

Nikolaj has known that Patrik wants to get a tattoo this summer for a while. 

Patrik texts him about it a lot, asking his opinion on placement or images. Nikolaj feels a twist in his chest every time Patrik asks him what he thinks Patrik should add to the sleeve he’s planning. It’s not like Patrik would be tattooing Nikolaj’s  _ name _ on himself or anything, but. It would be something from Nikolaj, something permanent. 

Like, they’ve been serious for a while, but Nikolaj didn’t know Patrik feels strongly enough about him to be confident that getting tattoo ideas from him, tattoos that will make him think of Nikolaj every time he looks at them, is a good idea. 

It isn’t easy to think of something good. He can give Patrik joking ideas, make him laugh, but when he stops to think,  _ really _ think of something that fits Patrik, nothing ever seems good enough.

Nikolaj goes to Sebastian’s one night, mostly to hang out with the baby, but he stays later and has a few beers. They end up finding a deck of cards and playing a few rounds of poker.

After, when Sebastian is cleaning up the kitchen and Nikolaj is putting the cards away, he pauses on the five cards that made up his last hand. He’d beaten Sebastian’s full house with a flush. He picks up the cards and starts to slide them back into the box, but he doesn’t manage to get the bottom card lined up and it falls onto the floor. 

The back of the card, a mess of swirling red lines, stares up at Nikolaj. He sets the box on the table before leaning down to pick up the card. He turns it over to see which card it is.

It’s the king of spades, solemn and bearded, sword in hand. 

Nikolaj looks at it for a long moment, then he puts the card back into the box and goes home.

He doesn’t forget about it, though, and he sends Patrik a text before he goes to sleep.

_ What about the king of spades? _

It doesn’t take long for Patrik to reply, even though it’s getting pretty late in Finland. 

_ what about it,  _ he answers. 

Nikolaj feels doubt curl in his belly for a second. What if Patrik thinks it’s stupid? He bites the inside of his cheek and tugs his blanket over himself. Nikolaj decides that if Patrik thinks it’s stupid, he just won’t get it. It’s not like he’d say it to Nikolaj.

_ For your sleeve,  _ Nikolaj sends.  _ The playing card. _

Nikolaj’s phone buzzes in his hand with an incoming call from Patrik. He answers immediately.

“Why the king of spades?” Patrik asks, not bothering with a greeting.

“I don’t know,” Nikolaj says, a little awkward. “I saw it and I, you know, thought about you.” 

“You saw the king of spades,” Patrik says slowly, “and you thought of me.” His smirk is practically audible. 

“Shut up,” Nikolaj says, his cheeks heating up. “You asked me for ideas, so there’s my idea. Don’t let it get to your head.” 

“Cute,” Patrik says. He laughs softly and if any of Nikolaj’s anger was real, it dissolves right away. 

He can’t stop himself from sighing, pulling one of his pillows closer and hugging it to his chest. 

“Niky?” Patrik says, the teasing note gone from his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, I just—I miss you.” He tightens his grip around the phone. He sounds so  _ needy. _

“I miss you, too,” Patrik says. 

There’s silence for a minute and Nikolaj closes his eyes, listening to Patrik breathe. If he tries hard enough, he can pretend that Patrik is lying beside him right now.

“Stay on the line with me?” Nikolaj asks, his loneliness outweighing his embarrassment. 

“Of course,” Patrik says, and he talks quietly about his other tattoo ideas, his friends from home, what he ate for dinner. 

Nikolaj falls asleep with his phone pressed close to his ear and a warm feeling in his chest.

* * *

The thing is, Patrik didn’t really get any less obnoxious after they started dating, so he won’t send Nikolaj any actual pictures of his tattoo. 

He teases him with it, almost, talking to Nikolaj about its progression and how gross it is when it starts peeling, but no matter how many times Nikolaj asks, Patrik won’t actually show him. The most he gets is a tiny bit of it, too blurry to tell what it actually is, peeking out from his T-shirt sleeve in a picture someone else took. 

“I want you to see it in person,” Patrik says cryptically.

So when Patrik finally signs his contract, the second thought in Nikolaj’s mind is,  _ I can finally see his stupid tattoo. _

His first thought is much more softer.  _ He’s coming home.  _

Nikolaj calls him, trying to force down his pleased smile. 

“When is your flight?” he asks, and he knows Patrik can hear the grin in his voice. 

“I get in on Monday,” Patrik says. “And,” his tone changes, sounding almost gloomy, “I have to go to my place for the night.”

“Patty,” Nikolaj complains, a little whiny. 

“If I go to your place, I won’t want to sleep,” Patrik says, and he sighs. “It’s going to take more than twenty hours to get back. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

“Ugh,” Nikolaj says, but he understands. He doesn’t really want Patrik to be delirious with fatigue when they see each other for the first time in four months, and he knows them well enough to know that they wouldn’t just go to sleep if Patrik stayed over. “I’ll see you then. Fly safe. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Patrik says. “See you soon.” 

* * *

Waiting for Patrik is frustrating. Having him be so close now, after a summer spent apart in different countries, but unable to see him makes Nikolaj a little bit twitchy.

He knows Patrik has physicals, media, that he has to unpack at his place, but it’s still infuriating. To be annoying, Nikolaj sends Patrik messages all day. 

_ You should hurry up. _

_ I miss you. _

_ I found one of your hoodies in my closet. It still smells like you. _

_ I bought some new lube yesterday.  _

Nikolaj’s stomach flutters as he imagines Patrik reading his texts when he’s done, the way he’ll burn with frustration while he drives to Nikolaj’s. He bites his lip, tugging at the hoodie, then he kicks off his sweats and stands in front of his mirror. 

Patrik’s hoodie is big enough on him that it’s impossible to tell if he’s wearing underwear or not, and Nikolaj makes sure to hold his phone so that fits in the frame.

He takes a picture and sends it to Patrik before he can change his mind, then he slips his phone into his pocket, cheeks warm.

His phone rings two hours later. 

“Nikolaj.” Patrik’s voice is strained. 

Nikolaj curls his hands into the sleeves of the hoodie, hiding his smile in the collar. “Yeah?” he says, all innocent. 

“You can’t just  _ do that,” _ Patrik says, but his complaining is marred by the unsteady note to his voice. 

“Why not?” Nikolaj asks. “I’m  _ bored, _ Patty.” 

Patrik makes a weird, growly sound. “I’m getting into my car,” he says, voice tight. “I’ll be at your place soon.” 

Nikolaj shivers. “I’m counting on it,” he says, breathy, and he hangs up. 

Trying to keep himself busy, Nikolaj tidies up his apartment, making sure he has food for later. He takes a quick shower, hot enough that his skin is pink when he steps out and pulls Patrik’s hoodie back on. He puts underwear on, too, because he knows it’ll annoy Patrik.

He leaves the door unlocked and waits to buzz Patrik up.

Patrik texts him when he arrives and Nikolaj lets him up, then goes to the living room to wait on the couch, his bare legs stretched out over the cushions. He tosses his phone aside when he hears the door open, propping his chin on his hand and looking down the hall towards the door. 

There’s a pause, probably Patrik taking his shoes off, then soft footsteps and Patrik steps into the room. 

For a moment, the two of them just stare at each other. Patrik’s eyes flick over Nikolaj’s body like he can’t decide where he wants to look, over his bare legs, his hair, the hoodie that doesn’t belong to him, the way he can’t tell if Nikolaj is wearing underwear.

Nikolaj’s mouth feels dry as he looks at Patrik, tanned and lean after a long summer. He’s grown out a bit of scruff and it looks good on him. Suits him. Finally, Nikolaj’s eyes land on his right arm, still covered by the sleeve of his jacket. Nikolaj looks back up to meet his eyes, flushing at the way Patrik looks at him knowingly. 

“Are you going to keep your jacket on the whole time, or are you going to let me see it?” Nikolaj asks, a challenge in the tilt of his head, in his voice. 

Patrik rolls his eyes, but he takes off his jacket, tossing it onto a chair. He steps closer, not breaking stride while he pulls his T-shirt off. He stops in front of Nikolaj, standing shirtless in front of him. Nikolaj takes his right hand and pulls his arm closer. 

The blue ink twists over Patrik’s pale skin, lines bold and dark. Nikolaj turns his arm a bit and his breath catches in his throat.

“You really,” Nikolaj says, unable to finish. He brushes the fingers of his free hand over the image of the king of spades, hand trembling slightly. “Patrik—”

Patrik seems tired of the anticipation and he grips Nikolaj’s hand harder and pulls him up, catching him around the waist with his other arm. Nikolaj squeaks, fingers slipping over Patrik’s bare chest, but Patrik holds him steady.

Letting go of Nikolaj’s hand, Patrik tangles his fingers in Nikolaj’s hair to pull his head back and kiss him. Nikolaj makes a muffled noise against his mouth and winds his arms around Patrik’s neck, his eyes falling shut.

Confident that Nikolaj isn’t going to fall down, Patrik drops his arm from Nikolaj’s waist to push up his hoodie. He makes a displeased noise at the feeling of Nikolaj’s briefs, scraping his teeth over Nikolaj’s lower lip to make him whimper. Patrik ducks lower, mouthing at Nikolaj’s jaw before setting his teeth against his throat to bite a mark there. 

Shuddering, Nikolaj grips the back of Patrik’s neck in one hand his shoulder in the other, rubbing his fingertips over the tattoo. It doesn’t feel any different than the rest of his skin, but Nikolaj knows it’s there.

“You said something about new lube?” Patrik says, finally drawing away. He grins crookedly at the dazed way Nikolaj blinks up at him, pushing his thumb against Nikolaj’s hip. 

“Yeah,” Nikolaj says after a pause. “Come on.” They manage to separate for long enough to stumble to Nikolaj’s bedroom and get rid of the rest of their clothing. 

Patrik looks a little disappointed when Nikolaj takes of his hoodie, but it fades when he gets his hands on Nikolaj’s waist, sliding up to his ribs and digging his fingers into the space between them hard enough to make Nikolaj’s breath wheeze. Nikolaj grinds against Patrik’s thigh, pushing his face into Patrik’s shoulder. 

One of Patrik’s hands finds Nikolaj’s hair again, gripping it hard enough that it pulls against his scalp with a sting. Nikolaj’s mouth falls open and he chokes on his breath. Patrik makes a curious noise and tightens his grip. 

This time, Nikolaj can’t muffle his whine. Patrik pushes him back until the backs of his legs hit the bed and he falls onto the blankets. He crawls to the head of the bed and reaches into the nightstand to grab the lube as Patrik joins him, settling between Nikolaj’s legs and leaning down to kiss him. 

They make out like that for a while, rocking against each other without urgency. 

Patrik cups Nikolaj’s face in his right hand, stroking over his cheekbone. He shifts away to press his lips to Nikolaj’s other cheek, his thumb moving to push down on Nikolaj’s lower lip. Nikolaj sucks his thumb into his mouth, letting his teeth scrape over Patrik’s skin and looking up at him through his lashes. 

He can’t stop himself from flushing hot at the way Patrik looks at him, eyes dark and wild. His eyes flutter shut and Patrik presses down on his tongue. Finally he slides his thumb out, rubbing over Nikolaj’s lips. 

Before he can reach over and pick up the lube, Nikolaj catches his hand, twining their fingers together. He pulls Patrik closer, pressing a kiss to the king of spades on his arm. Patrik strokes his knuckles, eyes wide as he looks down at Nikolaj. 

“Niky,” he says, tightening his hand around Nikolaj’s. He moves his arm so he can lean down to kiss Nikolaj, hard and fast, then he disentangles his hand from Nikolaj’s so he can grab the lube. He flicks the cap open and slicks up the fingers of his right hand.

Nikolaj shifts as much as he can, lifting his hips and spreading his legs so Patrik can reach down and slide his fingers over his hole. Nikolaj shivers, the lube still cold on Patrik’s fingers, then he shudders for a different reason altogether as Patrik presses his first finger inside. 

“Fuck,” Nikolaj gasps, his voice breaking, and he clutches at Patrik’s shoulders to try to ground himself. Patrik kisses him, but they’re uncoordinated enough that their teeth click together and their noses brush. 

“You’re so pretty,” Patrik murmurs, brushing a kiss over Nikolaj’s cheekbone, “your hair grown out like this, you look so good, fuck.” He slips a second finger inside while Nikolaj trembles below him, curling them and making Nikolaj’s back arch.

Nikolaj’s hands slip on Patrik’s back. Patrik hisses through his teeth and Nikolaj knows he left some evidence. 

“Patrik,” he whines, not sure he can say anything more complex right now. Instead of trying to speak more, he lets his body do the talking. He pushes back against Patrik’s hand, heat curling low in his belly. He closes his eyes, breath hitching as Patrik spreads his fingers before adding a third. “I, ah, I missed you,” he manages, and he’s not sure if he says it in English until Patrik answers.

“Missed me,” Patrik says, and he pushes his fingers hard against Nikolaj’s prostate, “or my  _ hands?” _

_ “Fuck.” _ Nikolaj’s voice breaks, almost a sob.  _ “Both, _ Patty, fuck, please—” This time, he definitely sobs as Patrik pulls his fingers out. His legs are shaking. 

Patrik slicks up his cock, then he looks at Nikolaj consideringly. 

“Here,” Patrik says, and he grabs Nikolaj and flips them so Nikolaj is straddling him. Patrik smirks up at him expectantly.

“Fucking lazy,” Nikolaj says, the chirp somewhat spoiled by his flushed skin, his too-bright eyes, his hard cock. Still, he shifts back, lining up to lower himself down on Patrik’s dick. His head drops forward at the first press of Patrik’s dick against him and Patrik’s hands tighten on his hips. 

It takes him a minute to get himself fully settled in Patrik’s lap, his breath coming too fast and his thighs trembling. Patrik rubs over his thighs and hips while he gets used to the feeling again. Through the haze in his mind, Nikolaj manages to appreciate his patience.

After he manages to catch his breath somewhat, Nikolaj rolls his hips slowly. He has nothing to muffle the noise he makes, and when he tries to bite his lip to keep himself from getting too loud, Patrik pushes his thumb against his chin until he stops. 

“You don’t need to do that,” he says softly, eyes intense. 

“I know,” he gasps, “I know, it’s just—it’s so much,  _ Patrik.” _

Patrik’s hand drops from his chin to rest low on his throat, his thumb against the dip of his collarbone. Thoughtful, his thumb presses a little harder.

Nikolaj’s hips jerk and he can’t swallow his whine. 

“Maybe later,” Patrik says, considering. His eyes are on the furious red of Nikolaj’s skin, and he grips Nikolaj’s hips in both hands before planting his feet on the mattress and thrusting up to meet Nikolaj. 

_ “Oh,”  _ Nikolaj says, his hands falling to Patrik’s chest to hold himself up. He digs his nails in, his mouth falling open in an expression that probably looks stupid but he can’t bring himself to care. He rocks his hips down again, desperate for that feeling. 

“Fuck, Nikolaj,” Patrik grinds out, his jaw tight. His fingers are tight enough on Nikolaj’s hips that Nikolaj is pretty sure he’s going to have bruises in the morning. He doesn’t even  _ care.  _

The heat that’s been building in Nikolaj’s belly since Patrik first got his fingers inside him is almost all-consuming now. He can feel sweat slick between his shoulder blades, his flush extending down his neck to his chest. He moves faster, his thighs straining with the effort, then Patrik reaches up and scrapes his thumbnail over one of Nikolaj’s nipples at the same time he thrusts against his prostate. 

Nikolaj can’t stop himself, choking on his cry as he shakes apart in Patrik’s lap. When he manages to open his eyes again, Patrik is looking up at him with his mouth half-open, like he’s surprised.

Instead of getting off Patrik’s dick to jerk him off, like Patrik is probably expecting, Nikolaj braces himself and keeps riding him. He does the best he can, twisting his hips, clenching around him, and Patrik’s breathing quickens and he holds Nikolaj in place to fuck up into him faster. He comes with a groan and Nikolaj shudders at the slick feeling inside him. 

For a moment, they stay like that, Nikolaj hunched over Patrik and Patrik’s hands still on his hips. Eventually they manage to regain control of their limbs and Patrik flexes his fingers as Nikolaj climbs off his lap, thighs burning now that he’s finished. 

He burns at the way Patrik’s come leaks out of him, the feeling still unfamiliar and making him shiver. 

He lets Patrik guide him across the hall to the bathroom, feeling sleepy and his legs unsteady, but Patrik holds him up. 

They shower together, the water beating down on Nikolaj’s back hot and perfect as Patrik massages shampoo into his hair. He leans against Patrik’s chest, closing his eyes and wondering if he could fall asleep like this. 

He manages to stay awake, letting Patrik dry them off with Nikolaj’s fluffy towels. By the time they go back across the hall, Patrik is half-carrying Nikolaj.

They tumble back into the bed, avoiding the sweaty part of the sheets by curling up close together. Patrik winds his arm around Nikolaj and pulls him close. Nikolaj rests a hand on his forearm and curls his fingers over where he knows the king of spades is.

“Why’d you ask me?” he asks, quiet in the dark room. “Whatever I picked—it was always going to be there forever.” He can’t quite hide the nervous tone to his voice.

Patrik hugs him closer and presses a kiss to his shoulder. “Nikolaj,” he says, gentle, “that’s exactly why I wanted you to pick something.”

If Nikolaj were more awake right now, he might feel a little more excited about that. Instead, he feels something warm settle deep inside him, like a puzzle piece fitting into place. He exhales softly and closes his eyes.

They can talk more in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> like, zero excuses.
> 
> if you want to see the lore of me losing my mind over the tattoo, follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/symphony7inAmaj)
> 
> if you want regular content of me losing my mind, follow me on [tumblr](https://symphony7inamajor.tumblr.com)


End file.
